Sunday, February 15, 2015

For heart shaped everything

Once upon a time, via his puny lady accomplice, a secret retard sent a huge bunch of amazing looking flowers to my gym! The deep delinquent scarlet roses, I must say were beautiful. Never in my life had I seen flowers as beautiful and fresh, and the tiny droplets of water on the the rose, resembled diamonds on a velvet spread. There were 24 of them. Bunched and secured in a neat white net. While every instructor raised their eyebrows with a grin and a few curious clients winked at me, all I could do was smile and wonder who the retard was. People might think I am the crazy one to not appreciate such a gesture and maybe all of you are right but, hey deliver it yourself or, send a super hot chick to do that. And oh! before twilight arrived, I had a teddy on my bed holding a heart; staring into my soul. Till date I have no clue if the teddy was supposed to be cute or, threatening. Fortunately, I married this retard and he now limits the valentines day gift to a like-every-other-day's morning kiss unless, there is a card that is super relevant to our last fight and say's Happy Valentines Day. 

Valentines day is a fun day where you get to watch people dressed in 50 shades of red walk hand in hand and every bench on the roadside; every tree, every seat in the theater; every table in the restaurant is full; and present will be that sacrificed rose which first suffocated kissing a dude ass or, his smelly chest and was then passed on to be swirled around by the dudin. College is a different place all together. The group of guys get divided into the cool ones and the demotivated ones. The girls get divided into the ugly ones not gifted in looks ones and gifted in looks ones. The competition among the gifted ones is high with the criteria being how many times one got asked out, how many they rejected, how many flowers they collected and how many chocolates have been popped in. The not so gifted ones are reminded once again of the gift that escaped them. Pockets of the dudes begin to be emptied for heart shaped everything while Archie's and Hallmark score duping people into buying exorbitantly priced cards with cupid on it.

Google Images
By the way, what's with cupid? A naked baby shooting arrows. Hmm... If there is an unmanned naked baby then Hello! where is child services? Hell he is armed too! Maybe to keep business soaring, the card companies replaced the original cupid with a cute baby. Cupid is actually a fat, hairy, horny bugger who is flying without his glasses. And I kinda wonder if I can sue the concept of cupid for being racist. Why is the baby always white? It would be a terrorist alert if the naked baby shooting arrow was brown. And what's with the shooting? You don't have to be violent to make people fall in love. Get back to having teddy bears holding heart, staring into your soul which reminds me of how grateful I am to my husband, the ex-retard, who swore not to give me any more teddy bears. Among the many unwanted gifts accompanied when one is gifted with good looks, I have had the burden of receiving many teddy bears. Each one, big or small stares at me. Goes on staring with those big creepy glassy eyes. Maybe next years, I will set up a seconds stall and dispose these creepy teddy bears to those 50 shades of red people before they order a couple buffet.

Speaking of couple buffet, yesterday me, Mr. Smart Pants and Miss French Bean went to California Pizza Kitchen (You don't want to go there. Trust me.) and ordered the valentine couple meal. It came with the lamest red drink I have ever had. It was nothing but kissan jam blended with cold water, tiny bit of fizz, garnished with mint and topped with ice. The dessert was a pink cake with a layer of cream on top and a chocolate bow run through it. It set us in the mood for Valentines day and Miss French Bean and I, went on saying happy valentines day for anything and everything we said. Mr. Smart Pant was the sane one for the day. Dinner was at toit and there again every cheer either began or, ended with happy valentines day.

Made for the occasion by Chef Smart Pants. 
The next, when Valentine's day indeed came, it came with a bear hug in bed that Miss French Bean received along with a boner from Mr. Smart Pants which immediately made her forget the love we shared and jump out of the bed. Special brunch made by chef. Smart Pants, music, stories, laughter, swim, play... my valentines day was well spent with my special pals. Weather you bought flowers, chocolates, balloons or none from the norm, I hope you got the joy of letting special people in your life know how important they are. Happy Valentine's day.

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