Saturday, October 04, 2014

Let them go!

The best way to care for someone is to first care for yourself. I was advised this many a times as a new mother. "You eat first, then feed the child", "Get your rest first", "Sleep when the child sleeps" advise, advise, advise. Now that I have grown out of that stage, I am glad to be following these advises. It was difficult initially but then, I realized, it makes sense. It felt weird to have dinner at 7 and then feed my kid at 7:15 but, by doing that, I knew I have more patience and energy to run behind a 3 year old with a spoon for an hour and sometimes more. All you mothers and fathers know what I am talking about, don't you? But no, this post is not about parenthood. This post is to answer a question I read on Facebook.

You know how, you read something and it sticks in your mind? A question to which you struggle to answer. A question which you never asked but felt the same, at one point in your lifetime. At the least. A question when posted by someone you know, on a forum like this, just confirming the pain a person is going through and here you stand, helpless thinking about all the answers. This FB post in the image, dated July 27, has stuck to my mind for some time now. Why? Maybe because it involves the speaker and the one spoken about.

Answers and solutions are always easy. Following them is what is difficult. Starting with the simple thing first, the answer is, "this amazing pain is called STUPIDITY". What? Wrong grammar? No, no no. Just sticking to answering how it was asked. I would have left it at this answer if it was a 2 mark question, to be answered on the persons FB page. But since I have the liberty of owning this blog, I would like to pour the depth of the answer.

I had an iron box once. A nice fancy one with lots of features. But it kept burning my dresses. 5 of them to be precise. I got rid of that iron box. How couldn't I? When something burns dresses from Mango, Vera Moda and Chemistry, it had to go! I now have the normal iron box with no additional features but you know what? I am happier with it. Same thing with my food processor. As a new experimental wife aiming for my husbands happiness through his stomach, the food processor was my best friend. But it kept letting sparks out. It would end up blowing the entire fuse of my house. Again and again the electrician had to be called until the day I got rid of the food processor. Did I miss having such a handy tool in the kitchen? I sure did. For a day or two but, I got used to it in no time. I could go on with examples showing when something causes more harm than happiness, it is advisable to get rid of it. Of course, one may say, relationships are not objects that you can just dump 'em. Well yes. Relationships are different. The attachment is deeper. The dependencies are higher. Loss is wider and the pain...I like to say, is unbearable.

Pain, I believe can do a lot to you. Especially when it is more mental than physical. It makes your waking up sad, afternoons dull, evenings tiring and gives you sleepless nights. One moment of joy and a thousand moments of gloom. But what makes us hold on to that one moment of joy and call it love? Why do we give it the liberty to hurt us? Love does not cause hurt. It never has. A mothers love has never hurt her child. Even though she took support of the rod to discipline her child. Your love for music has never made you unhappy! Why? God's love has never hurt! Though we crib about all the hardships God makes us go through. In the end we come out happy thanking God for all his love. Love can never hurt. Love is meant to make you happy. Though the mother takes the rod, her love conquers the pain of the beatings. God's love for you shows up in every success that you encounter. Love brings the best tune out of you. It gets the most creative thing out of you. It gives you a reason to wake up early, be excited the entire afternoon, energizes your evenings and makes nights grateful.

But if your love hurts you so much that you end up seeking answers from a virtual world, then it is not worth the pain. It is not worth picking up pieces of your heart. How many times do you stitch your heart back? How many a times do you glue to up? Even after you do the best job of gather the pieces of your heart, tiny porcelain pieces of the heart fade away into dust. Leaving behind a not so perfect heart that you were born with. It turns you fragile leaving you even more vulnerable than before. Those pieces of heart that blew away with the wind, turns you jealous. Makes you bitter. Hands you a knife and tells you to slit up some flesh.

If the person who makes you cry, is not the one standing beside you to wipe them, then they are not worth your tears. If breaking your heart does not break their heart equally, they are not worth it. If your love does not reciprocate, they are not worth your love. Let them go. The best way to care for someone is to first care for yourself. Let them go so you do not have to walk around with a glue in your hand. Let them go so that you remain the beautiful, confident, happy person you always were. Every one deserves happiness and you are more than everyone. You are an individual, capable to give and receive more love than what you deserve. If your presence in their life was only to be able to hurt you, then gift them your absence. The person who hurts you is not a iron box that burnt the dresses accidentally. And your life is worth more than expensive dresses. Let them go. Look after yourself. Love yourself first and then give others a chance to be loved by you.

Like the wise saying goes, "it is better to live with a person who loves you, than live with someone you love". Build your self esteem and break those bondages of despair. Fragment the feelings that you are worthless without them. That your future is questionable without them. You don't need pain to tell you that you are loved. Even when the entire world turns against you, when you think there is no one to love you, there will still be one, your creator, who will love you. Who has a well secured future for you. Who hold the blueprint of your life. Who planned your life in the human world. All you need to do is trust yourself and let them go. Wash the pain away, put on your best dress, wear a beautiful perfume and tell the pain bye-bye once and for all.

4 comments:

  1. The world knows not of the pain i see,
    tis pain and trouble that'll always be.
    That is what I thought I knew to be true,
    until I met someone and my life changed and grew.
    My thoughts were wrong and my deeds so dark,
    Yet, you never gave up for your love was stark.
    Now i see what always has been,
    the change happens always from within.
    Give up give up my thoughts screamed at me,
    life is full of troubles and treacherous is she.
    You cannot run, you cannot hide,
    tis pain and trouble that'll always abide.
    I calmed my mind and counted my blessings,
    tis then i realized my painful lessons.
    it was never the pain, it was never the trouble.
    The love I received was always more than double.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha Ha... Thanks for commenting Sammy and I kid you not when I say, there's a poet in there.

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  2. well written baby... :) sharing it.

    ReplyDelete

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