Sunday, July 27, 2014

Gift of forgivness.

The best things in life always come by paying a heavy price. A price measured in INR, sacrifice or, hard work among the many other means of measurement. When the thing you want is attained, life feels so satisfying that you forget the burden of that heavy price you paid. One such measurement I have found is that of forgiveness. We have all committed mistakes at various stages of this short life span--unknowingly or, knowingly. To err is so human and it is the very carnal nature of us, the living being to strike back, to plot a revenge or, simmer in bitterness when we have been hurt, abused or, insulted by someone's wrong doings.
When things went wrong with Amit, I could feel nothing but insulted and hurt by him. I kept wondering as to why would a person, who means so much, do such a thing to me. The questions soon turned into self loathing that turned into anger which resulted into a tit-for-tat attitude. I soon began living every moment anguished in the pain he caused. Confused between wanting to hate a person who I am so found of. It consumed me so completely that I would hug Paresh and cry the night into his nape for long thinking to myself, "you should have known this coming."
I woke up one day and decided that I am not going to let a friendship gone wrong ruin my peace of mind or, interfere in my marriage. But, I had no clue how to go about it. Thankful to all the gifts I have received, some friends are the best assets I have. For a friend showed me, Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13
I am not the Lord or, do not possess his amazing love. I could not get myself to do this of course but, one thing I knew was, if Amit wronged me, I had wronged Amit's wife in one way or, the other. So, I began seeking Seema's forgiveness. Everyday I woke up, the first thing I did was sort forgiveness before I began to pray that Amit and Seema will find love, peace and joy in each other. I asked to be forgiven for every wrong I might have done to her knowingly or, unknowingly. As I prayed this, it no longer meant what Amit and I had. Or,  how sour our relation had gone. What mattered was that the love between Amit and Seema grows. It only felt natural and best to forgive Amit. It was a surprising feeling to find the load get off my chest. And as I sought forgiveness for my wrong, I could see how easy it was to forgive someone else. I am no saint. I have committed my share of crimes. I have hurt people much more than I have been hurt. And if I wanted to be forgiven, I knew that I had to first forgive. 
One might wonder though, what when a person who hurt us, or was hurt never wants to reconcile? Well, a mistake is a mistake. It is not 'my' mistake or, 'his/her' mistake. For 'my" brings with it guilt and 'his/her' brings with it feelings of anger. But when you develop the attitude of seeing a mistake as 'a mistake', you neither feel guilt, nor anger. The dictum of 'forgive and forget' as I have learnt, only leads to an immense inner peace. And what more in today's world do we need more than that?

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