When things went wrong with Amit, I could feel nothing but insulted and hurt by him. I kept wondering as to why would a person, who means so much, do such a thing to me. The questions soon turned into self loathing that turned into anger which resulted into a tit-for-tat attitude. I soon began living every moment anguished in the pain he caused. Confused between wanting to hate a person who I am so found of. It consumed me so completely that I would hug Paresh and cry the night into his nape for long thinking to myself, "you should have known this coming."
I woke up one day and decided that I am not going to let a friendship gone wrong ruin my peace of mind or, interfere in my marriage. But, I had no clue how to go about it. Thankful to all the gifts I have received, some friends are the best assets I have. For a friend showed me, Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13
I am not the Lord or, do not possess his amazing love. I could not get myself to do this of course but, one thing I knew was, if Amit wronged me, I had wronged Amit's wife in one way or, the other. So, I began seeking Seema's forgiveness. Everyday I woke up, the first thing I did was sort forgiveness before I began to pray that Amit and Seema will find love, peace and joy in each other. I asked to be forgiven for every wrong I might have done to her knowingly or, unknowingly. As I prayed this, it no longer meant what Amit and I had. Or, how sour our relation had gone. What mattered was that the love between Amit and Seema grows. It only felt natural and best to forgive Amit. It was a surprising feeling to find the load get off my chest. And as I sought forgiveness for my wrong, I could see how easy it was to forgive someone else. I am no saint. I have committed my share of crimes. I have hurt people much more than I have been hurt. And if I wanted to be forgiven, I knew that I had to first forgive.
One might wonder though, what when a person who hurt us, or was hurt never wants to reconcile? Well, a mistake is a mistake. It is not 'my' mistake or, 'his/her' mistake. For 'my" brings with it guilt and 'his/her' brings with it feelings of anger. But when you develop the attitude of seeing a mistake as 'a mistake', you neither feel guilt, nor anger. The dictum of 'forgive and forget' as I have learnt, only leads to an immense inner peace. And what more in today's world do we need more than that?