Monday, December 09, 2013

winding and unwinding relation

Funny thing about rolling up. Have you noticed? Be it a jute rope, twain, wool or, even your simple tiny earphones! One always loops it round slowly and cautiously. Ties it up in the middle and folds it into two, and rest it on a flat surface. Believing that when it is picked up the next time, it will all unwind smoothly.
And as the unrolling begin, you take the utmost care. As if taking the swaddling cloth off a new-born. But before it has unwound even to its half, the thing is more like a badly made door mat. It is always the same. It aggravates the situation when the person unrolling it is not the person who rolled it up. The person unrolling it, thinks all the fault lies with the person who rolled it in the first place. And sure, he makes his agitation felt. "What have you been trying to do with it? Making a fishing net? A nice mess you have created. Why couldn't you have been better with it?"
Now the person who rolled it, may not make his agitation felt, but is sure to think, the whole cause of the muddle lies with the man trying to unwind. "It was alright when I took it! Why don't you think what you are doing?"

I heard a person say, he wants a life to live. No boundaries, no obligations, just fun, joy and peace. I asked if, he wanted to share it with another person? Of course he did. I remain puzzled till day. You open the door to your heart to a stranger. The stranger, intimidated at first occupies a tiny space. You urge the person to consider your heart like one of his own. And soon, a relation is formed. Or, should I say, a rope, twain, wool or, maybe your simple tiny earphones! You wind it up with utmost care. The love is shown in the caution you take while you tie it in the middle, fold it into half and place it on the most beloved surface of your life. But once in a while, this too needs to be unwound. And that is when you really know how deep the love ever was.

Relation-where one winds and the other unwinds. The roles sure get interchanged from time to time. Agitation is felt, seen and clearly heard from both the parties. The blame game begins of who was right and who was wrong. Who gave in more care, concern and dedication. Whose love was stronger. At times one party accepts defeat, but deep down knows its not his/her fault but just accepts it to keep the peace. There are times when the debate goes on of who needs to learn.

What stands the test is weather you will roll the relation back? Slower and more cautiously? Tie it up gently or, more firmly in the center, and once again, keep it on the most special part of your life? Or, are you one of those who have had enough of unwinding, what you think, a completely messed up door mat? Or are you among those who think this whole thing is a fishing net and you are not a fisherman anyway!

Whoever you are. Whatever be your personality. With all my humanly flaws, I am no one to judge. But a piece of advice I do believe I can share. When things go wrong, do spend time thinking about the joy you felt while rolling the rope of your relation with this special person that you opened the door of your heart to. If you took the utmost care rolling or, unrolling it, the other person too did take as much care. Maybe, more too.

If a life to live was ever simple, if relations were ever uncomplicated, how would you know the meaning of boundaries, obligations, fun, joy and peace. A positive always needs its share of negative to know its worth. What would all the riches be if poverty never existed? What envy would a flying bird carry if no one walked the land or, sea? If life never gave lemons, how would we know the adrenalin rush of squeezing them?

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