"You are not married. You defiantly are not a mother". Haa.. ask a mother, what it feels like when people say, you don't look like a mother. It is a joy only a mother knows. A feeling of being young and beautiful again.
I just smile and say, "nice talking to you" and start walking. "Can I take you out?" Now this spoilt it all and rather than ignoring I turn back with a question mark pasted on my head.
"You can say no and I would understand but, let's say just a coffee at the arcade". Smiled and walked away. Never actually noticed the guy until yesterday. I mean I see him everyday, exchange glaces. Has a cute face. If I remember is dimpled,wears micro mini shorts that I like, walks with weights tied to his ankle. Oh wait! He is a sporty guy. No wonder I did not shut up. I have this thing for guys who run.
So this next guy happens during the post dinner- pre bedtime walk of Whiskey. A white Toyota, slows down as it passes me. A minute later a guy walks up to me. "Excuse me mam, excuse me". Oh yeah! say it fast is what's on my mind apart from Oh Damn! Whiskey is going to go mad and I'm going to have a tough time because an idiot can not see me holding a ferocious dog whose only moto in life is too bite. The dogs moto, not the strange man. I do not know what the strange man's moto is. How should I? I just met him. So he says.. like Atal Bihari Vajpayee...taking his own swet time, while I am looking at Whiskey, praying, Oh please! don't go on your mad barking spree. "This dog in your hand mam, and you with the dog in this lovely night"...."Excuse me, and I am very sorry, but, you....you ... you and the dog...you look so beautiful. Eh? Really? Surprisingly Whiskey decided to hear the compliment rather than barking at him. What should I have done. So I laugh, one lady like laugh, a shy laugh and say, "Thank you" and start walking. But oh wait. I have company as I walk. And this damn dog is allowing company for once. Stunned I look at him and he goes again. "I am sorry, but you are so beautiful". I laugh. And this time it was genuine. Not the artificial lady like. Because this time, I found it funny and it made me happy at the same time. Well yes, it did freak me out that this guy is still walking with me, and Whiskey does not have a problem with it. The guy would just not stop telling me how beautiful he thought I was. "He then says, I have a huge crush on you". "Ha Ha Ha" "Since when"? "For quiet some time now". " I see you at this time usually with the dog from my balcony" and I think, "what a beautiful face this is"? "Wow! you must have a super sight to be able to see my face at night from your balcony". (Cut the crap man). And every time he said I was beautiful, he told I am sorry but, let me know if I cross the line. What line" Keep saying I am beautiful, for all I care. I then ask him what he does, which company does he work at, work location blah blah...tell him where I work. He ha no interest where I work. But I just go on giving him gyan on IBM for I do not want to hear, "you are so beautiful. I am sorry. Please let me know if I cross the line but, mam you are so beautiful". Finally when I am done with IBM stories, he hands me his card, asks me if I would be his friend. What do I say? Hell no? Well, I do act like a lady at times and say, "of course. I would love that". Liar Liar pants on fire. My bum here is burning. "Can I add you on face book?" "Oh sure"! "What do I search for"? "Brinda Krishnan is who I am, and pretty popular on Google search". "I really want to be your friend". "I mean a real friend". "Very friendly" Oh Freako! "Ha ha.. sure, I am quite socially active. On the Internet I mean". " So you say, mam, we can be friends. Let me know if I am crossing my line". "You want to be my friend. Is that what you are saying". "I am very friendly" and "I can show you a lot of things when I am friendly". "Will you show me things when you say we can be friends"? What the hell is he talking? What does he want to see? "Oh you are going to be my friend and we can go out if you want. You have a husband, I have a wife so we can go out". OK... so he wants to involve Paresh too? I say, "oh sure, I would love to meet your wife as well". "No... you do not have to meet my wife and that's the reason we have to go out". "Or, let me know when I can come?" At this point I stop thinking and telepathically tell Whiskey, "your turn now. Show him what you got". "Give him that bark of yours, for all I care, go for his neck." Thankfully, I have reached my building and need to go and tell him I got to go. "Will see you around." He just stands there as I go.
Excitedly I narrate the incident to Paaresh saying, "Paresh. You better start noticing me when I wear something different or, do my hair or, have the slightest hint of make up on me because If you do not, there are people down there who think I am beautiful". "I know Baby. That is why I married you". "Married me because there are people down there who think I am beautiful"? "No because you are the most beautiful and the funniest and the most caring person to be with". "Haaaaaaa.. very nice! So touched". I then narrate him the whole thing and when I am done, he just smiles and says.. he just asked you to sleep with him. Really? Paresh and I talk about it and instantly I get a facebook request. Show it to Paresh. We laugh at his expense while knowing that that guy would be laughing at my expense doing things... thinking about how beautiful the girl with the dog is or, hell who cares. Of course I do not accept the FB request and hope I never have to meet him again.
But.. he he ;-) It happened. I always wondered how people like Sood and Parv have a list so full. If their strategy was alike, I know can stop asking them "How do you do it?"
When such things happen on the same day, you can not stop yourself comparing a man and a gentleman. The evening guy was a gentleman. Oh just shut up. I like his shorts and the fact he runs. Not to add, with weights.
The night man smelt very good. Yeah! I have a thing for smell too. A strong sense of mine it is.
Both of them, a tiny bit of thrill and a reason to blog.
So Mayand did get to read this and for memories sake, here's what he commented.
Like I said yesterday, the shorts guy was decent enough not to jump straight to the point. Whereas the sicko "show you things" guy was dumb but straight to the point.