Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The first feel of motherhood.

I may love your daddy with all my heart, but I promise to love you with all my bum -- the biggest, juiciest and the fleshiest part of my body. 

When I knew you were on the way, I was scared, shocked. I am running out of words to tell you what I felt at that time. Maybe, there isn't a word to describe the feeling. There was happiness somewhere which I did not know how to express. With all that sickness I felt inside me, which of course is very natural, I wondered why any one would ever want to get pregnant. And those with two or more children...what were they thinking? The way all of my energy was getting drained, all that feeling in my stomach...I was scared how would I take it on for 7 more months. Scared, because I did not know if I will be able to love you as much as you deserve. Scared thinking that Paresh's love will now have to be divided. Shocked, of course. It was a very big shock for both, daddy and me. But deep down inside there was happiness. Something achieved without having to manipulate Paresh. Well yes! you will soon see, that I manipulate daddy a lot. Not that daddy does not know, he just loves me too much to deny me of any thing I want. But a child I had decided, I will let daddy have what he wanted. I will respect him with his decision.
But, now with all those sickness past me, the bulge on the tummy that I so much love and flaunt it so proudly, I know, I will love you. When I felt that first kick of your, my heart slipped away. Butter melting on hot pan. Like an orange candy on a hot day, melting in your hand, and hurriedly you try to enjoy it as much as you can. I remember that day, daddy was on a very important call ( Aol call with Deana) and wanted me to stay away from him. But when I insisted (stubborn that I am), and made him feel your kick, the look of amazement on his face, I was assured, he was in love with you. Since that day, I have been crossing the weeks, unlike the previous weeks I was crossing on the calendar. With each cross on the calendar, there was a wait of holding you. To feel that tiny hands and legs of yours that without even seeing, made daddy and me fall in love with you.

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