Thursday, December 31, 2009

Face to face with Dragon, once again.

It has been 19 months until last evening that I met Dragon, and he looks as sexy as he always did. Deep eyes, square jaws, wide smile and a grin that reveals the horsey teeth gifted to him, guess the day he was born, slouch in his back, and the same old gazing into zero when either of us is acting busy or occupied in their own world.
There was such confusion when I had the time to decide whether to meet him or let go. But when given no time and said, "here I am, come get me", all I could do was to accept the offer with a smile. And I am happy to have met him. Grande latte and patties on one side and a lemon demon on the other, and we are still wondering what more to talk apart from "just the usual", "good fine" "aur bolo". When I wasn't looking at him, his eyes would be towards me, (mind it. They are not ON me.) and when I am looking at him, he is busy gazing at zero, talking to his own mind, silently. Just like the first time we met. Lots of coffee, no particular topic, two strangers who without even meeting one other, felt a deep connection from within. And as he gazed into zero, all I could think of, if I had to see his skull, his eye socket would be two real deep deep holes, and a jaw line that would be purposefully artistically sharpened to form a straight line.
Dinner at Little Italy, and maybe that is where the emotions started playing hide and seek. Each trying to hide their feelings and the other trying to seek and yet act like they didn't see it. Gradually the talks took the path of the memory lane.
I am sure, dragon wanted to avoid the past smiling at us as much as I did. At least, I totally wanted to forget my good times. Each and every second I spent with Drag, were one of the best moments I have lived. If I was asked to change even one tiny bit of dragon and me era, I wouldn't want anything happening differently. And as beautiful the dragon era was, the no-dragon forever era was much worse. With all my heart I wanted to be with dragon forever. Probably he had every quality I wanted in a guy. A runner, a singer, square jaws, talks to make you week at the knee, and humor to make you cry. But then, at dinner, the past just seemed like a stack of photographs, placed face down under my hand, which I could randomly pick and recollect the entire series of events.
And I waked the watch I gifted him, and it is this watch that tempts me to write this blog. As the seconds tick on my wrist I remember the day at NDA, the period nearing his POP when he threw the watch away in anger and it got chipped. The watch reminds me of all his physical draining that he spoke about while he was in NDA and all those moments I missed listening to when he was flying his bird at AFA. I just wanted to get rid of the watch and all the memories which kept resurfacing with the ticking. Pondering again over the thought, Destiny or beautiful stranger. But these emotions were only till this afternoon. Sitting here now, next to Paresh, seeing him work his ass out on new years, reality check speaks, "everything happens for good."
It took me time, but I did move on. I don't know if Dragon had to take pains to move on or not, but I am sure he too has moved on. This morning I told myself, Dragon was always a beautiful stranger, but now, as I post this blog, I feel, he was always my destiny, and will always be. A destiny who was meant to come into my life, for a short period, and make me realize a few more good things about myself.
I loved every minute I spent with dragon, and love every minute of not being with him as much.

Here's to another year of knowing what it is to be in love. Happy new year dragon and to all who have been a part of my people in a lifetime.

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