You: Action -- FARTNow the above strategy is just one way to get yourself out of the embarrassing situation but knock knock...I have more ;)
People around you keep doing their stuff.
After around 10 seconds
Your pal: *Sniff sniff*
You: ARRRGGHHH!!! Phew!!!
Your pal: What is wrong?
You: Damn! What smell is this!? It reminds me of Grandpa.
Your pal # 2: Yeah I smell it too, yuckk disgusting!
You: For hell! What the this??
Your pal: Oh, it's started coming over to me!
You: This must be coming from Lilly (pal # 3)
Lilly busy in front of the computer...knows not what is happening
Your pal 2: Lilly! Get outta here!!!
Your pal: Lilly!! Get the hell out!!!
Your pal 3: Alright sorry *exits*
You save your neck *wink wink*
I was Google-ing something, I won't tell you what. But then I came across, sm= m/sou. Well this my
friend is the formula of fart. Yes you read it right, I said fart :) where "sm" is
the smell intensity, m stands for the mass of the person and sou is the sound
intensity if the fart peak. Wow!! whoever got this formula out.
1. Fart loudly and make it public. Make a fool out of yourself so that others don't. Maybe then people will laugh about it or they will be too embarrassed to point at you.
2. Pretend that really, really and I mean real really when I say you are really sick of the smell. "what the hell did the person eat to smell so bad?" "EWww I need to get my butt outta here before the smell suffocates me to death." Come on now. If you are going to die of the smell, no one will ever think it could have been you. Now who dies with their own smell? Plus you have already diverted the attention of your audience from the fart to the drama that you are.
3. When it is the noise-less one, sure it is gonna be the smelliest one...make it public "mine is always the loud one and mine does not smell." If you are so open to make yours public, why will you ever hide this noiseless one? Something in them will tell them that its not you has committed the crime.
4. Use your cell phone to your rescue. After you fart, try getting busy on the phone. Call, text, something...after all you need to do is pretend. So when you mates are busy questioning one another, you are busy.
5. Try being noisier than your fart. A sudden cough is the battle tested one. Talk real loud before the fart is out.
6. And...If everything else fails, walk away, quickly, but don't run. otherwise your friends will catch you. If not now, later. And they will know whom to blame on the next occurrence.
Happy farting !!! and blaming someone else for your deeds.