Wednesday, February 27, 2008

At times I wonder, how the greatest strength becomes the greatest weakness. The joy that the precious moments get, how torturous its absence can be. We get so used to the lingering feeling of being surrounded by your strength that it becomes the weakness.
The self-confidence that Sidh made me believe in, it seems is falling like the distance between us. I took the decision with a heavy heart, thinking the future was not meant for the two of us. That was the call of future being pre-written. Without a repent of what I lost, I am set, searching for all that that was lost. It feels like being inside a little bubble, see-through, looking out at the life flowing by.
I search for that optimism, that self-pride. I search for that lost girl who had forever know to look at the open window with fresh wind blowing in. I search for that wind now, that scent which was carried along in her life, that face that never seized to smile.
I now understand the sweetness of all his gestures, the last bunch of rose on that rainy day which swept with it all the joy. The story that was put to an abrupt end. The story now broken like the pieces of a porcelain tray.
Then passed a friend who collected the pieces in the hope of mending the tray. The damage being but too big, with a piece permanently lost. The tray would never be the same again.
Its now like diving into the deep sea. The cold in there is tremendous, with the absence of light and enveloping crushing pressure all around. The life I see flowing by through the bubble, disappearing once they move beyond arms length. the familiar world of light and breathable air and sunlight on wave now lie very far.

1 comment:

  1. The Dawn of Depression is written all over it :) -Morgan.


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